My dear, dear friend Barb,
I really don't quite know what to say other than I am so, so sorry that you've had to go through such a terrible, terrible experience. The good things are that you had quite a few good years together; you have a great family support, friend support, and work support system, you don't have little ones to take care of on your own and yes, he is at peace now. I know it all sounds so trite when you are experiencing such grief and disbelief. I also know you're probably having a lot of mixed feelings right now; relief that it's finally over yet quilt, feeling that, and pain from him being gone. Anger as to "Why"?? My sister went through all of that as well when her husband died at 30 something also from an astrocytoma. My niece was 2y/o.
You've been able to prepare emotionally for over a year now, yet unable to really prepare. I know you though. You are such an incredibly strong, and independent person. You will make it, even though it doesn't feel like it. You were a super wife, friend, and caretaker to him, and he took that to heaven with him. Time and prayer will help eventually, . . . . Again, such a trite saying at this time. And again, I am so sorry that you have to go through this. It's not fair, not supposed to happen like this, and especially to someone so good, loving, caring, wonderful and supportive. You were supposed to grow old together. . .
I LOVE YOU SO, SO MUCH, and I AM SO, SO SORRY, and yes, even in my grief for you, I am too wordy!!! XXXX0000