Judith "Judy" A. Kirk

Judy Kirk was born in Toledo, Ohio, daughter of Benedict and Alice Kubiak, on March 26, 1939, and passed away in the early morning on January 27, 2021, holding her daughter’s hand and listening to Polka music. She attended Notre Dame High School and The University of Toledo, where she earned her teaching degree. One thing that was a lifelong annoyance to her was that she was talked out of the journalism degree she wanted to pursue (by a male advisor) and encouraged to teach. She was an excellent English teacher but an even better writer, showcased by her brief but colorful stint as a columnist for The North Ridgeville newspaper The Light. Her “It’s a Jungle Out There” column was filled with recounts of her daily life’s toils and tribulations a la Erma Bombeck. Any reading of her letters, emails, Facebook comments, diaries, and other writings show her joi de vivre and talented turns of phrase. So, while she never fully recovered nor sought revenge for being advised not to pursue her dreams, she did manage to use her astute observational and language skills throughout her life--and passed the writing gene along to her daughter Amy. She worked at the Avon Library for 20 years and was often embarrassed (but possibly charmed) by the many people who recognized her at the grocery store, park, or mall, due to this very public role. She organized and orchestrated their children’s story hour among other things, and has fond memories of the encounters she had there with various performers and presenters—like the guy with the boa constrictor… She hated to fly but loved to travel. After college she took a ship to Europe with a group of girlfriends for a monthlong tour and began a life of adventure. Right out of college she went to live and teach in Pasadena, California, then in Cincinnati, Ohio, before returning home to Toledo to take care of her mother when her father passed away at the young age of 54. This return to her hometown was meant to be, so that she could meet the love of her life, Bill Kirk, a year later at a Halloween party (she was dressed as a cat, and he as Groucho Marx). They were married a year later, and had their son William Scott Kirk, Jr., the following year. Their second child Amy was born in 1970. They moved to Upstate New York (Liverpool, NY) from 1973-1976, where she endured the snow before returning to Ohio to settle in North Ridgeville. During her stint in upstate New York, her husband Bill rewarded her for moving there with a trip to Puerto Villarta, Mexico. She loved walks in nature various local walking trails, was a member of several book clubs, loved films and festivals (especially the Greek Festival) and visits to the Cleveland Art Museum. She was completely comfortable in her own skin and had no fear of solitude. Everyone was impressed that she would take herself out to a movie or to a college lecture with no hesitation. She loved warm weather and Latin music and jazz as much as her Polka music. For her 25th wedding anniversary she and her husband traveled to the Western Caribbean on a cruise, echoing their honeymoon spent in Miami, Florida. She was an astute athlete, talented in tennis and a member of the North Ridge Racquet Club for many years. She was in several golf leagues, and a huge fan of the Cleveland Indians. She was curious about many things, loved to ask questions that had no answers, and was quick to look up information that stumped her. She was a breast cancer survivor (diagnosed at age 60) so we were very grateful to have her with us for 22 more years after that frightful time. A huge thanks goes to her dear and dedicated, kind and patient husband Bill for all that he did to assist her with that journey and any and all other accidents and mishaps that happened (most of which they kept hidden from their daughter!) that he reacted to and helped her to recover from. He took wonderful care of her until her last days on earth; many times a day until the day she stopped speaking (two days before she died) could be heard “Bill! Bill! Bill!” coming from her bed in the living room (except for that brief period when she called him “Bob”). She was equal parts intellectual and jokester, with a keen eye and ear for wit and giggles. She adored books and passed this love of reading as well as so very many gifts of books to her daughter and granddaughter. When “interviewed” in March 2020 by her daughter and asked what has brought her the greatest happiness in her life, she said “her beautiful babies Scott and Amy”. Indeed, her supreme talent was being a role model, cheerleader, therapist, personal librarian, and overall career coach and life advisor for her kids. No matter where in the country Amy lived, Judy came to visit (and often overcame her fear of flying to do so) and supported Amy in all of her crazy and creative endeavors. They talked daily on the phone and neither one could imagine a day not starting with this required before work phone call. She had a wild imagination and a wonderous spirit—she was a great companion on road trips for her sense of spontaneity and her appreciation of any view, and all detours. Her favorite poet was Mary Oliver…read her poetry and you will see why. Like her favorite poet, she tried to keep things simple and real, interesting and surprising. She loved to giggle and make funny faces in otherwise serious situations, like in church or at the theater; never did she hesitate to lighten a moment or call out anything she felt was inauthentic or pretentious, untrue or unnecessary. She did not believe in creating stress nor pursuing ambitions at the risk of losing love, light, and joy. In retirement, she volunteered for several local organizations, from clothing donation centers to senior centers, and also donated faithfully to The Humane Society, among other charities. She loved her kitties Missy and Murphy (named for Murphy Brown), who loved to share spaghetti with her. Her favorite animal was the sloth and she had several sloth stuffed animal companions throughout her convalescence who gave her great comfort (and imaginary conversations). Sloths to her were wise creatures who used only what energy was necessary. Judy loved to sit on her couch and read for hours on end, and in her last years, she spent every morning sipping a hot cup of black coffee, eating a HoneyBun and watching the birds and animals outside her window (once she finished watching Curious George). She loved to feed the chipmunks and reported their antics with joy. A favorite quote of hers was “I like to do nothing, and rest afterwards.” For her, doing nothing meant thinking…no one could sit and think longer and more peacefully, without boredom, than Judy. When she was bedbound for most of her last 90 days, we liked to joke that she was doing what she loved best…although in truth it was not at all a funny situation, nor did she like it. She had dementia for approximately 2 years, but it was not debilitating until the last 6 months; happily for the family, she never forgot who Bill, Amy, Abby, or her son-in-law Andre, or any of their pets, were. She called us all by name and this was a great gift in the face of such a debilitating disease. She also managed to crack jokes and recount distinct happy memories until her very last conversation. Her healthcare workers all commented on her giggles and fun nature, keen observational skills--and sarcasm. She was the kind of person to tell you exactly what she thought; this was refreshing to most, and shocking to some. She was honest and good, and thoughtful beyond measure. She could come up with very clever ways to show her love, such as standing outside the Elyria train station and waiting until her daughter’s train from Chicago to Boston came through, to hand her a tin of freshly made Christmas cookies. She sent her granddaughter a special package each day for the last and first day of school, and she could take weeks to find just the right pajamas for her granddaughter or shirt for her son-in-law. (Only recently did her daughter realize that she purchased a new mattress for her childhood bed, just because her husband has a bad back and she thought a firmer mattress would be better for the few times they came up to Ohio each year …so many things she did as a mother, mother-in-law, and grandmother that were unsaid, and that we are still learning about!!) She made the best pumpkin bread, based on her mother Alice’s recipe, and the best grilled barbequed pork chops. She loved the warmth of the sun, so it is sad that she passed on during such a cold month, but we hope that heaven is a sunny place, and that she is sitting in the sunshine now, perhaps with a cold beer and some corn chips, listening to salsa music or Mel Tormé or ABBA, and thinking about the good ole days. “Oh what fun!” she would say about so very many things, up until her very last days. If at a loss for words or during a lull in a conversation, she might just say “Well, alrighty then!” with a sense of confidence about whatever was happening, and hope for what may come. She will be remembered with every chipmunk, sloth, polka song, Greek Fest, Curious George episode, library visit, nature walk, mention of Toledo, Ohio, bite of pumpkin bread, and so very much more. We would love to know how she influenced your life (like showing you how to crack wintergreen mints in your mouth to make sparklers) or anything you loved and admired about the unique woman we adored so much. She loved to laugh so please laugh as much as possible in her honor!!! Survivors include husband Bill Kirk, daughter Amy Kirk Duvoisin and granddaughter Abigail Duvoisin. She is preceded in death by her son William Scott Kirk Jr. (1986) and brother Timothy James Kubiak (2007). Funeral mass Friday, January 29, 2021 at 1 pm at St. Peter Church, 35777 Center Ridge Rd., North Ridgeville and will be livestreamed on www.stpeternr.org. Rev. Bob Franco will officiate. Burial will follow at St. Peter Cemetery. A celebration of life will be held at a later date. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to American Heart Assoc www.heart.org or The Humane Society at www.humanesociety.org. Arrangements by Bogner Family Funeral Home, North Ridgeville. For further information or to leave an online condolence, please visit www.bognerfamilyfuneralhome.com

Judith "Judy" A. Kirk

March 26, 1939 - January 27, 2021